Understanding the inner child, old patterns and attachment wounds

Why old patterns still fire today

As a child you learned to protect yourself, for instance through adapting, withdrawing, control or watchfulness. These protective patterns made sense back then. They have stayed, even though the situation has long since become a different one. That is why sometimes it is not the adult person in you who reacts, but a younger part.

What “inner child” actually means

The term is an image, not a diagnosis. What is meant is the part of you that carries within it early experiences, needs and wounds. Understanding it does not mean rummaging around in the past, but recognising what is speaking up today when an old pain is touched.

Attachment wounds and triggers

When early attachment was insecure, a fine state of alarm often remains: Will I be abandoned? Am I too much? Am I allowed to be here? A trigger is the moment in which this old alarm fires. Recognising it creates the first small distance between stimulus and reaction.

Gentle steps

• · Notice the trigger, without condemning yourself for it.
• · Distinguish: What is really happening now, and what is sounding through as an old resonance?
• · Listen to the younger part, instead of pushing it away.
• · Find support for yourself, inwardly and outwardly.

How Schema-B can help you with this

This is exactly the heart of Schema-B: you work your way towards your wise core, the place in you that can distinguish between what is happening now and what is sounding through as an old resonance. You can try the first four chapters for free, in your own tempo. During the build-up phase all chapters are free.